TSA

Been busy with the holidays, mostly lounging around, eating too much, and definitely not wearing pants.

Fortunately, I didn't travel anywhere over the holidays. I didn't hear much about during the busiest travel day of the year, but prior to that, I heard a lot of grousing about the new TSA body scans and procedures. (I hate traveling by plane anyway. This may be the straw that convinces me to stay on the ground.)

One woman has found an appropriate method to get around the problem. Sort of.

Finally, someone sees the light.

Top 10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked

The struggles of clothing

Today, I had to go to work. So I am wearing pants.

But I felt so lazy about getting dressed I didn't feel like wearing anything with buttons. I wore a cashmere sweater, even though it's probably a little warm for it (hey, isn't it the end of October, btw?).

My laziness knows no bounds.

How to Celebrate a Soccer Goal

Autumn's arrival

I was just saying the other day that I was finally ready for it to be fall. It had been unseasonably warm here, with bright sunny, even humid, days. The calendar said September; the weather said July.

However, fall has arrived in Tennessee. Today, at least, feels like fall. It was in the fifties here this morning. It hasn't warmed up all that much today and there's a breeze. I wore a long-sleeve shirt and it still felt chilly.

It is perfect sleeping weather, and my body is not providing much resistance. I could curl up a cool stretch of floor right now.

Tonight, after work, I will go home, change into boo pants, lay on the couch with a book, and, probably, fall asleep rather promptly. I'm drinking darjeeling now so that I can make it that long. (Two and a half hours to go! *sigh*)

While my wife is back on the road and I'm waiting on my monthly paycheck (come on, Thursday!), I am devoting this week to just going home after work and catching up on reading. Simplicity beckons.

बार वस. Zucchini

This story has nothing to do with boo pants, but it's so awesome I needed to share it.



Woman scares off bear with zucchini

Not our greatest champions

I have Google News track the phrase "no pants" and the word "pantsless." Sadly, most of the news stories I receive in my email involve criminal acts. They can usually be categorized as amusing tales of drunken idiots.




Today, for instance, in addition to the one I posted in my last entry, there came this story from Wisconsin of a man driving intoxicated with wearing pants or underpants.

Sigh.

Nudity and pantslessness are wonderful things, and I completely understand the need to be free when you've overindulged. But please never drink and drive. And don't do something else stupid that will wind up in the newspapers when you're not wearing pants. It only makes your life comedic.

Excuses, excuses

At least he had an excuse. Not a good one, but an excuse.

Lady Gaga and Style

A new book is coming out that focuses on Lady Gaga's sense of style.

You can read about it here.

I point this out, because as the writer of the article states: My favorite section of the book is "Going Pantsless" because, honestly, does anyone do it better than Gaga when it comes to showing some skin? Clearly, this person has not met me, but otherwise she's probably right.

News Anchor Caught without Pants

You've always suspected and, in Slovenia, it's true.

A Brief History of Nakedness

I just read a book review in The Economist (yes, I read that sometimes, preferably without pants) of a book that sounds intriguing. The review, which you can read here, calls it "thought-provoking, if somewhat frustrating" for what it overlooks.



There's so much in our lives that just assume or don't think about that it's important to step back and think about such things some times. We are born naked. Someone, somewhere, some time decided you should wear clothes, even though they never knew you and never would. Why?

Despite its described flaws, I've added this book to my very long reading list.

Here's the obligatory Amazon link.

NUDITY!!!!

I had two thoughts related to nudity late in the day today.

1. I wish I could go to work naked. I could be more relaxed, even as I performed drudgery, if I were pantsless. The main problem is that I can't think of a reason my co-workers wouldn't/couldn't be naked, too, if they so choose, and that would make going to work even more dreadful.

2. Today, I was listening to the record that defined my generation. The cover says it all.



Yes, it's Nirvana's "Nevermind," with the naked baby, winkie in full view, chasing Almighty God-Dollar. The watershed moment of my generation had absolutely nothing to do with pants.

I was doomed, of course.

I just started taking guitar lessons and one of the first things I learned was the riff from "Come As You Are." (I play it considerably slower - so much so that you'd have a hard identifying it as that, even when I don't screw it up.)

That naked baby, Spencer Elden, just turned 18. We're all so proud.

Actually, we're Gen-Xers. We define aloof. We really don't care.

Meh.

Boo pants!

Wrong headed people

I'm sorry for not posting in awhile. Sadly, I'm busy at work. Which means wearing pants. Which is just depressing.

Speaking of depressing, I just found this article describing these pants that punish and demean you for eating too much. While I hate pants, and I hate that feeling when your pants start to get tight because you've eaten too much, haven't exercised enough, or both, I cannot approve of these.

In happier news, Ned needs your help. His goal may be questionable, but I like to think he's just out to recover his hard-earned property. Poor Ned just needs to relax and stop wearing tighty whiteys.

But we'll help No-Pants Ned along his way here in this fun little free flash game. There are a couple of (disturbing, though perfectly safe for work) click-throughs.

Too Long in the Wasteland

There are times you need to wear pants. This may seem antithetical to the movement, but it's not.

For instance, last weekend my wife and I picked blackberries. I wore shorts. I have the scratches to prove it. While it was my time to do with as I pleased, pants should have been required.

Boo.

When I started this blog, I hoped to highlight the positive about pantslessness. I track news stories that use phrases such as "no pants" or "without pants" or "pantsless." However, far too many of the stories that arrive in my inbox are ones like this one:

Woman finds pantsless stranger sleeping in her bed

Perverts set our movement behind. Drunks set our movement behind. The insane set our movement behind. Drunken insane perverts really set our movement behind.

Although they all are amusing at times.

Pants must be seen for what they are - a necessity at times, but also a powerful sign of the hegemony under which we all live.

Are you going to wear pants this weekend?

From the Twitterverse

I don't know @blondediva11 in real life, but I follow her (I'm assuming her) on Twitter because she's very entertaining. For instance, she uses a cheeky picture of Marilyn Monroe (at least I think it's Marilyn though it's hard to tell in that little box) as her icon.

Then today she posted this:

"Stupid fashion gurus. I already know "What Not to Wear." They're called pants, people. Get with the program."

Yesterday, all my troubles were in my pants!!!!

While I write about the evil that is pants here, generally this blog is meant to throw a humorous light on the hegemony of pants, particularly in the workplace.

Yesterday, though, my pants couldn't have been more irritating if they'd be made from porcupine quills. I couldn't wait to be home and be rid of them.

Sometimes all a man wants is to lay on the couch in his underwear, watch TV, and eat Cheetos.

I didn't watch TV. I didn't eat Cheetos. But I did crash on the couch in my boxer briefs and let the AC wash over me.

Our cats looked on in terror.

With apologies to the Beatles

Yesterday, my wife came home (Hooray!). She travels a lot around the state for her job.

Anyway, she was driving along the highway when she saw something she said would have made me very happy.

A discarded pair of pants just left on (and in) the road.

I envision jeans or blue work pants. I like the contrast of the blue against the gray of the pavement.

Anyway, the fun part of this story is imagining how they got there. With the recent flooding, unfortunately, there are a number of possibilities, some quite sad.

However, I choose to think of someone casting them aside as they sped down the road in a convertible, with the top-down and wind flowing through their hair and whipping the pants legs around. A beautiful moment of audacious freedom from the hegemony of clothing!

Woohoo!

One of the problems with Singapore

Reason #5892 not to move to Singapore:

You can't be naked in your own house:

http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/2837

From our future ruler

There's a guy on Twitter who calls himself @CobraCommander, after the old 80's cartoon.

He posted this the other night to my great amusement:

Drunk. Hooded. Listening to ELO. No pants. Typical Friday evening.

Celebrity?

I agree with this article.

It doesn't matter if you're pantsless in Esquire. That shouldn't make you a celebrity.

Amusement from the college I used to work at.

http://www.dailyillini.com/blogs/different-perspectives/2010/03/17/ladies-wear-your-no-pants-with-pride

Here, here, ladies!

Mad Props to Lady Gaga!

Far, far, far too long since I've posted here. I've been busy not wearing pants. :)

For awhile, I resisted Lady Gaga. I resisted the pop hooks and irresistible dance grooves.

I'm done resisting. I'm down for the count like I would be in the ring with Ali.

Who knew she would lead a fashion revolution? I had hoped it would be me.

Of course, my pantsless agenda was less about fashion than about a way of life - distinguishing between the moments that are genuinely yours and the moments you give to Almighty Dollar and working hard to keep them distinct. Our work lives have been eroding our private lives for far too long. "Work-life balance" is a lie meant to keep you thinking quality time and work time are the same.

Anyway, that's a rant for another day. Today we celebrate Lady Gaga and her movement that keeps lovely ladies out of their pants. This article pretty much says it all.

Thanks, Lady Gaga!

Inspiration

I've already mentioned the annual No Pants subway ride here, but it has taken off in strange and interesting ways.



Activists are seen on a "No Pants Subway Ride" in an effort to call for a low-carbon lifestyle in Guangzhou, in south China's Guangdong province. -- PHOTO: AP

More information about this story here.

An annual tradition

I'm late (again) in posting this, but I hope everyone got to enjoy Global No Pants Day!

Manhood = Pants? I think not.

Dockers has a new ad campaign about wearing pants. Something about being a man means wearing pants.

Fortunately, there's much criticism about it, and this page is full of it. It's also covered with pictures of attractive women who aren't wearing pants.

What more does a man need?